Sound of the bugle?

It's not often that you find yourself storming off into nowhere... I was angry, and ya I wanted to throw away my phone. But I couldn't do it, I guess I wasn't angry enough to do it.. that happens a lot when you don't know what are you angry at... With almost nothing to turn to, and nothing to throw off I furiously re-entered the office.. a few curious glances at me and I was reminded that may be my anger was actually precipitating outside too... I quietly sat down. Sir gently asked me if I wanted coffee.. I quietly nodded... Coffee always did me good... And writing made me feel better.. It took me about 30 seconds to refocus to what I was doing, and 30 seconds again to get my mind drifting somewhere else. Anger is a funny thing.. it does crazy stuff to you. . It makes you feel cheated, makes you feel like the walls are closing in on you, makes you feel that the damn fan is too noisy and that the coffee is too bad. Normal daily stuff that you would be okay with - anger treats them all with a new hostility. But mis-placed anger I would say is the worst of all, and worse still is the kind of anger you feel at life in general. I was angry - in general. About life, about a lot of things, about unfairness, about loss, about loneliness, about getting it-all- still-not getting it- correct. Bang! Bang! that's what I was mentally doing.. I finished my work in record time. I figured anger gave me one more thing - speed. And I rushed outside, no after work gup-shup, I just wanted nothing. I waved bye and everyone around gave me an extra-large, be-okay kinda smile. I left.

Outside my two wheeler was waiting for my wrath. I took it out, only to give a loud bang to it's neighbour. ..well ,well..

As I drove past the streets every other thing felt like a conspiracy to me. I was listening to this sad number from a new movie and my anger quickly transcended into deep melancholy. Tears feel different when you drive- the wind makes them cool, and it feels nice to let them roll down.. I entered home like I had all the burden of the world on my shoulders and quietly went in to make a quick snack for myself.

As I was putting on the stove, I heard my little bro laugh out loud..I quietly stepped out to see him rolling off seeing some stupid really stupid comedy movie. There was something very cute about his laugh, it was a laugh that wanted to come out since long, but wasn't. It was a long laugh, a laugh which to me was mocking at life..as if telling it - " Listen I am not gonna give up, so you keep trying to get me down, but you won't succeed." I stood there watching the scene, till the smile and the laughter quietly jumped in on my face.. I laughed too... Sometimes the biggest problem have the most simple solutions - mine was sorted, my mis-placed general anger, quietly admitting defeat, bade me a good night....

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